Flat Down and Free

I have been diagnosed with prostate cancer. At my family physician the last two PSA readings showed a modest increase in signal level. Sent to the urologist. Biopsy done and results showed malignancy.

There have been subsequently a bevy of tests and I am still waiting for a CAT scan. Stategies for resolution of the problem will follow with Dr. Blair Egerdie.

Just about a month now I have been wearing a catheter and bag...and hobbling. On indefinite layoff from my factory job. Employment Insurance Disability arrangements pending.

But the items of good news are many. Financial help. Love and support from family, friends, workmates and members of my new church. I have also tried to occupy as much as possible in a low-key way. Drives in the country with Hilary. Phone chats with my kids Lauren and  Jordan and my brother Scott. Publishing in hard copy with much delight several of my ebooks. Reading and reading (Nouwen, Tozer, Lucado, Chambers, Scripture, Longfellow, Angelou, Service, Anne Cleeves and Wilbur Smith).

There is some humiliation in all kinds of medical staffers dealing with the "plumbing". Also several bouts of pain and blockage necessitating night trips to Hospital Emergency. But bottom-line, no big complaints or worries.

Worries? This is cancer Doug! Ah but I have seen many people overcome, including my father-in-law Hourd and my grandmother Blair and my friends Paul and Sam.

And so I find myself flat down. Uncertain. Vulnerable. Weeping occasionally over the inscrutable. But gloriously sensing the comfort, attention and marvelous hands-on of Jesus. Also a new larger than life understanding of Trinity and agape love (John chapter 17).

Prayer still needs help, but hey I'm already on my back looking up...


some of my thoughts from almost 6 years ago. HHHMMM.

Saturday, September 24, 2011


I can waste a body
I can shatter dreams
I can raise my threat
Through a thousand schemes.
I can rob a home
I can stunt a life
I can tear the bond
Of a man and wife.
I can pull the blind
Down on hope or joy
And the neighbours'talk
I will oft' employ.
I am given more
Than my powers are due
I just feed on fear
And the schemes come true.
I am named with awe
In the Hall of Waste
I have Slewfoot's praise
Seen him face to face.
I have often heard
When their end is nigh
How they doubt their God
How they curse the sky.
But it troubles me
That a few gain power
As they choose to smile
In my meanest hour.
As they give loud thanks
For a life to date
And they lean on Christ
For tomorrow's fate.


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